Managing College Expenses as a Divorced Parent

A divorced parent reflects on the financial implications of their child’s college education. With a stable financial footing after a divorce, the parent has seen their income rise significantly while the ex-spouse’s earnings have remained consistent. Despite their differing paths, they must navigate an agreement established during divorce proceedings that mandates both parents share college expenses equally.

Financial Options for Supporting Higher Education

The parent is faced with two potential courses of action as their child prepares for college:

• Option A: Cover half of the tuition costs and save the remaining funds for future expenses related to graduate school or the child’s first home. This approach allows for a financial buffer to address unforeseen costs that may arise during the transition into adulthood.
• Option B: Offer to pay a larger share, or even all of the college tuition. While this alleviates the potential burden on the ex-spouse and prevents the child from incurring student loans, it compromises the ability to save for future needs.

Ultimately, prioritizing a savings plan for future expenses appears to be the wisest decision, ensuring the child has support not just for education but also during early adulthood when unexpected costs are likely to emerge.

Navigating Personal Identity within Family Dynamics

Another scenario highlights the importance of personal identity within familial relationships. A woman, previously known by her married name for over four decades, finds herself repeatedly misidentified by her sister-in-law despite having kept her maiden name after remarrying. This name confusion, which results in mail being addressed incorrectly, poses a dilemma: whether to address the issue directly or continue to overlook it.

How to Approach Name Confusion

It’s essential to communicate openly about identity. The woman might consider addressing the matter directly with her sister-in-law, stating:

“I’ve noticed you address me as Mary Jones, but I didn’t take [my husband’s] name. I’m glad you’re welcoming him to the family, but no need to update your address book—the love is the same, no matter the name.”

This approach is assertive yet lighthearted, emphasizing the importance of respecting personal identity while acknowledging the familial bond.